


Toucha Toucha Touch Me

by Ugghfine



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Brian is Janet, Coming Out, Do you see where I'm going with this, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Homoerotic Dancing, M/M, Miscommunication, Oral Sex, Overuse of italics, Pat is Rocky, Pat is oblivious, Pat jerks off angstily, Rocky Horror Shadow Cast, Slow Burn, interpretive dance, men in panties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:47:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24833335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ugghfine/pseuds/Ugghfine
Summary: Brian comes up with crazy ideas and Pat goes along for the ride. That's their schtick. Brian fixes Pat with a look that makes him want to follow him to the ends of the earth. This time, the "ends of the earth" just means wearing a golden speedo in front of a packed theater.
Relationships: Brian David Gilbert/Patrick Gill
Comments: 10
Kudos: 41





	1. I Was Feeling Done In

Pat isn’t one to say no to Brian, but this time he was asking for a lot. As soon as the younger man asked “Have you heard of Rocky Horror, Pat Gill?” Pat was suspicious. From there, it took a lot of convincing.

  
“Ok let me get this straight. It’s like a battle of the bands but with Rock Horror shadow casts?”

  
“Kinda? Each team gets a scene from the movie to act out and at the end the crowd votes on the best performance.” Brian patiently explained. Brian was making saying no really hard. It wasn’t that he was being particularly insistent. He’s made it clear that Pat can say no if he’s at all uncomfortable, but it’s so obvious how much Brian wants this. Pat is a simple man with simple needs. One of which is to make Brian David Gilbert smile. So, he agrees. Brian practically squeals and wraps Pat in a too brief hug.

***

Brian is taking this very seriously. They’ve pushed all Brian's furniture out of the way and exiled the roommates. Pat first thinks he might have bit off more than he can chew when he finds out exactly what scene they are doing.

  
“Brian, what the hell?” Pat exclaimed exasperatedly. “You mean you tell me we’re performing the horniest scene in the whole show?”

  
“That’s really debatable Pat.” Brian said in lieu of a real answer.

“What part am I playing?”

“Rocky.” Brian answered quietly.

  
“So what? I’ll wear what? A golden speedo?” Pat's voice was straining in panic.

  
“We’ll discuss your costume later.” Pat got the distinct sense that Brian was trying not to overwhelm him.

  
“God Brian, couldn’t you have gotten Jonah to do this with you?” Pat asked because that was their schtick. Brian ropes Pat into his schemes and Pat follows along begrudgingly.

  
“Ugh ew Patrick. And writhe all over him in front of a crowd?” Brian said, like that didn’t raise more questions than it answered. Did that mean Brian wanted to be all up on Pat? He guesses that’s not exactly news. Pat has known that since the Shadow of Colossus stream.

  
If he thinks about the Gill and Gilbert days he might start spiralling into the pure angst that caused. He was so close to Brian, everything was up close and personal, and far too real for in front of a camera. The added dimension that Brian wasn’t available. He had that damned second watch and regularly scheduled phone calls at odd hours of the day and night with someone Pat knew _nothing_ about. This was not the place for that.

  
Pat needs to focus up. Their whole thing might be centered around Pat being a bitch about the things he’s dragged into, but it only works because Pat will follow Brian anywhere.

  
“You’re too much Brian. You’re going to be the death of me one of these days. Tell me what to do first.” Pat said, because he’s agreed to this ridiculous plan, so he’s going to put his whole heart into it. That’s just the kind of attitude Brian inspires.

  
“That’s what I like to hear Pat Gill.”

  
Pat’s not a dancer. He made that very clear when they were working on the Pokerap Dream Ballet. He feels the need to bring that up again.  
“Brian, you know I can’t dance right?” Pat asked, interrupting Brian’s tapping out of the tempo.

  
“Oh Pat. I know. You know what you are though?” Brian said, invading Pat’s personal space a little bit. You know, like bros do, totally no homo. Pat gave him a look that hopefully excused him from responding. “You are strong and you like to fuck.” Brian punctuated his words with pokes to his chest. The vicious call back to the early days at Polygon made him smile. “The first part is really all we need. You’re gonna stand there looking hot and you’re going to lift me up and throw me around. It’s going to be great Patrick. It’s going to be very wrestling-esq.” Pat tried to take that as reassuring.

  
The first part of practice --It’s rehearsal, Pat Gill-- was them listening to the song and Brian trying to get him to --”Loosen up Patrick.” Brian grabs his arms and goads him into wiggling around. Pat complies, really trying to shake off his anxieties. Brian moves with him, mirroring Pats movements, then he slides in even closer. He drags him hands up Pat's arms, over his shoulders, down his back, to settle on his hips. Pat’s brain stutters out. He stops moving and actually steps back.

  
His brain is short circuiting. The thing is, it’s been kinda a dry spell for Pat. When you’re in love (God, it’s taken Pat a long time to admit that that’s the case, but after he turned 30, he wasn’t willing to lie to himself anymore) with your best friend, it’s kinda hard to find other people you want to sleep with.

  
“Pat, you okay?” Brian asked, pausing the music, walking forward like he might if he was approaching a baby deer.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m great Brian.” Pat replied, shoving his hands into his pockets.

  
“Really, cause from where I’m standing, you’re physically and emotionally shutting down.” Brian is so straight forward all the time. It kinda makes Pat dizzy. “You wanna tell me what just happened?” Okay, how is Pat going to be honest without showing his whole goddamn hand.

  
“It was just a lot Brian. I’m sorry. It’s just been awhile since I’ve been...close to someone like that.” Pat says. His own words make him grimace cause he knows how _desperate_ that sounds.

  
“Well that’s probably gonna change Pat. This whole thing is kinda about _touching_. Is that okay?” Brian asked and damn, that was the problem. Pat wanted nothing more than to touch Brian. To hold him, to feel him, even to dance with him. That could be fun. Pat nodded, but he knows Brian always needs the verbal confirmation.

  
“Yeah Bri, bring it on.”

  
“Can I touch you now Pat?” Brian asked kindly. Pat gave him the affirmative he needed and Brian eased forward.

  
It was easier this time to have Brian’s hands on him, without the sweet crooning of Susan Sarandon. Pat took his hands out of his pockets and stole a breath before Brian was striding across the room straight into Pat’s space. First he stands a respectable 6 inches away from him and just grabs his hands. Pat lets out a little sigh, this is why he trusts Brian. Yes, he’ll push Pat past his comfort zone, but he doesn’t just throw him in the deep end. He lets him dip his toes in the water first.  
Some tension leaves Pat’s body and god, Brian must be able to tell because he smiles so wide. Brian just stands there breathing in the same air as Pat. Pat takes a deep breath and catches on that Brian is letting him go at his own pace. He takes half a step closer, leaning some of his weight onto Brian. Sharing this burden with him.  
“When’s the performance?” Pat asked quietly.

  
“We have plenty of time; six weeks.” Brian answered. That eased Pats nervousness even more. He had plenty of time to work up to 2.5 minutes of constant unrelenting contact.

  
“God, Brian, I’m a mess.” He really was, he had been for awhile. He was just so messed up inside. He’s a grown man, he’s not gonna say that all his problems were caused and solved by Brian, but the Brian- fueled sexuality crisis definitely didn’t help. The thing was, as he was figuring all these new things about himself, and it made him kind of sensitive. Brian was just so much that he couldn’t always handle it. So he withdrew. It got so bad that one time, when Brian went to tuck a lock of Pats hair behind his ear, Pat flinched. He didn’t want to and he regretted it as soon as he did it, but he just couldn’t handle the _intimacy_ of the gesture at that moment. After that, Brian just stopped touching him. The gentle hip checks, the arms slung over his shoulder, the hugs that lasted just a little too long. They all went away. Then everyone was following Brian's lead. Simone stopped running her hands down his arm, Clayton gave him an even wider berth. That and his absolute lack of desire to expose himself to anyone other than Brian, it’s just been awhile since Pat has really felt anything.

  
“Hey, you know why I didn’t ask Jonah to do this?” Brian asked gently.

  
“Because he knows how to say no to you?” Pat said, his voice clearly self deprecating.

  
“Come on Pat, if you didn’t want to be here you wouldn’t be. No, I didn’t even ask him. You were my first choice, Pat.” Brian said squeezing his hands for emphasis. Pat knew it must be hard for Brian to not gesticulate wildly with his words. “Honestly, man. I’ve kinda missed you lately. I heard about the event and just instantly thought of how much fun it would be to do with you. Six weeks of an excuse to spend a bunch of time getting all up in your grill. Sign me up.” Brian was trying to lighten the mood a little bit. Maybe counteract some of the self hate going on in Pat’s head. He softens his eyes and angles up to look straight into Pats soul. He then says in the sweetest voice, “Where’ve you been?”

  
Pat could answer that question in so many ways. With Brian looking at him like that he could hardly think. So he says the thing that’s been weighing him down. “I’m gay.”

  
To Brian's benefit he hardly reacts. It’s not the disgusted dropping of hands that Pat expected. He just arched his eyebrow and gave a little bit of an “Oh?”

  
“Yeah I’m hella gay. I’ve never told anyone that. It took me a really long time, like way too long, to figure it out. I’ve never even really acted on it. I just know I like guys and I’m sorry for lying to you. Please don’t hate me.” Okay so Pat didn’t really mean to say any of that. Especially not the last part. At least he doesn’t admit that he’s particularly gay for Brian. He also doesn’t say that the only reason he clued into the fact that he was gay was because Brian is just so attractive.

  
“Oh, Pat. I don’t think it’s physically possible for me to hate you. I also don’t think you lied to me. Not only do you not owe me any explanation about your sexuality, but if I hated you for that I’d be so hypocritical.” Pats breath hitched at that. “I’m Bi.” Logically, Pat knew that. He’d seen Brian flirt with men and women, but they’d never discussed it so there was always a chance that Pat was just so wrong. “Not to steal you’re coming out moment.”

“Thanks for telling me that Bri.” Pat said, cause that seemed like the right thing to say. Brian kinda scoffed at that.

  
“Thank _you_ for telling _me_ , Pat. Is this why you’ve been so closed off lately? You were afraid I’d be mad at you for being gay?” Brian led them to where the couch was pushed against the wall and sat them both down. He didn’t let go of Pat’s hand. Pat could almost cry with relief that he finally gets to touch Brian again. Tonight, this whole conversation has been overwhelming in a good way.

  
"Yeah, kinda, I don’t know.” The truth was that he wanted Brian so much that he couldn’t handle having Brian even a little bit if he couldn’t have all of him. “I’ve just been worried that if you found out, things would be different. I didn’t want you to be weird around me, I know that resulted in me being weird around you and fucking everything up.”

  
“Pat, you haven’t fucked anything up. Nothing is ruined in the least.” Brian used the hand that Pat wasn’t holding to pet Pat’s hair in a loving fashion. Pat leaned into it embarrassingly. Pat has been holding himself back for so long, but here Brian is. Looking like he wants to give Pat everything that Pat wants to take. “Nothing you could do could make me stop…” There was a pause that Pat refused to think about. “Nothing could stop me from being your friend.” Pat thinks for a split second that Brian might kiss him, but it must show on his face how unprepared for that Pat is, so the charged moment passed.

  
“I really want to do a good job for you Brian. You deserve the best.” Pat says, causing a small blush to spread across Brian’s face.

  
“I have total faith that you will Patrick. We have plenty of time to get comfortable and ace this. We’re only going to be on stage for a total five minutes. Compared to the live Unraveled we did, this is kid stuff.”

  
“God Bri, no. This is not kid stuff. No child should witness what we are going to do on stage.” Pat said, his face now matching Brian’s blush.  
“You’re totally right, Pat Gill.”

  
The rest of their “rehearsal” was spent moving the furniture back and playing video games. Pat could learn to dance next time, tonight Pat just had to learn how to be close to Brian again. Pat had six weeks to channel a half brained horndog who wants to bone Brian. Really shouldn’t be too hard.


	2. It Only Leads to Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one night baybey. I earn my mature rating at the end of this chapter.

Once Pat and Brian talked, it was like the floodgates were opened once again. It seemed like Brian was always touching him now. Like all he needed was a little permission. At work Brian is the consummate professional. But in the comfort of their apartments, Brian was always squeezing his shoulder or nudging him with his elbow. Pulling him into excited hugs when he beats a particularly challenging level. Not long after Pat's Big Gay Confession, Brian suggested they go out to a Gay Bar.

  
“So you said you had never acted on your sexuality, what did that mean?” Brian asked almost too casually while playing Smash one night. Brian had such a talent for just fucking no-scoping Pat. Pat does his best not to just blast himself off the platform.

  
“Umm, it just means I haven’t gotten the chance to be...intimate with a guy I guess.” Pat answered, pointedly looking straight up at the ceiling. 

“Have you ever kissed a guy?” Brian asked, his voice almost excited.

  
“No” Pat answers quietly.

  
“Well, do you want to?” Once again, Pat has to try not to lose his mind. Every part of him is screaming _yesyesyes,_ _kissmekissmekissme_.

  
“Uh...yeah.” That’s all Pat manages to say.“Well then! I think I can help.” Brian pauses the game and stands up pulling Pat to his feet as well.

  
“What exactly do you have in mind here Brian?” Pat asked, scratching the back of his neck just to have something to do with his hand.

  
“I’m taking you to the best gay bar in New York City Patrick.”

  
“Oh.” Pat didn’t mean to sound so _disappointed_. This was his whole problem. He had no desire to kiss anyone who wasn’t Brian. Let alone kiss a non-Brian in front of Brian.

  
“It’s okay if you don’t wanna go. God, I didn’t even ask. We don’t have to go tonight. Or ever.” Brian rushed out, easing into Pat’s space again.

  
“No, I want to go. I just don’t think I’ll kiss anybody. I don't want to kiss a stranger.” That was the closest to the truth that Pat could manage to say.

  
“That’s okay Pat Gill! You don’t have to kiss anyone, but I think it’d be good for you to be somewhere where you could kiss someone if you wanted too.” Pat couldn’t argue with that logic. It would be nice if he felt comfortable enough to kiss someone.

  
“Yeah that does sound like it could be a good time.” Pat was trying to imagine it. Him and Brian scoping out hot guys, that neither one of them were going to make a move on. Pat knew that with one word, Brian would not leave his side the entire time. The moment Pat decided he wanted to leave, Brian would be hauling them out. With Pat’s agreement, Brian's face grew into a beautiful smile. “Do I look nice enough to go out?” Pat was pretty confident the answer was yes, at least by his standards. He had taken a shower that morning so his hair wasn’t greasy and he was actually dressed kinda nice in a button up from work.

  
“Hell yes, Patrick. You look hot.” Brian said everything like it was easy. “I, on the other hand, have to change.” With that Brian was whisking into his bedroom to transform into an even more beautiful version of himself, like a goddamn butterfly.

  
Brian walked out of his room, wearing his beautiful floral button up that has always done things to Pat, ever since the live Unraveled, that shirt drives him crazy. He had the sleeves rolled up, the buttons undone halfway down his chest. Pat was used to seeing Brian in a well tailored suit pant. What he was wearing now, were sinnfully tight black _leggings_. Damn he looked good, he looked like a _twink_. Pat feels once again like he has bit off more than he could chew.

  
“These pants don’t have pockets Pat Gill. You’re going to have to carry my stuff.” Brian said, ever casual.

  
“You always do this to me Bri. At this point, why don’t you buy a purse?”

  
“And kneel to the corrupt, sexist fashion industry? Why, Patrick, I would never.” Brian said in a clutch-my-pearls fashion. Pat sighed and held out his hand for Brian’s phone, wallet and keys. This was a role Pat was used to playing. Even when Brian’s pants had pockets he ended up handing off his stuff --They ruin the good lines Patrick. Besides, your man pockets are large enough for three times what you already carry.

  
They took the subway to the club. Brian explained that he wants Pat to be somewhere crowded so he wouldn’t feel like anyone was paying any attention to him. Pat wasn’t in favor of crowds all the time, but tonight, with Brian by his side, he felt like he could take on the world.

  
“Besides if we go to a dance club, we can get some rehearsal in.”

  
Getting to the club was a blur. The wait in line was taken up by Pat’s internal freak out. Once he entered the rainbow painted doors and Brian grabbed his hand, the nervousness faded away. They wordlessly agreed to head to the bar. This night was definitely for drinking.Brian paid for their first round of drinks --C’mon Pat, let me treat you-- pressing a pink, fruity concoction into his hand. Pat shook his head, he was more of a beer man, but Pat’s following Brian’s lead tonight (and always).

  
It took a couple drinks standing on the sidelines before Brian was able to coax Pat onto the dancefloor. It was a couple more songs before Pat was doing anything approaching dancing. Couple more songs after that and things were getting intense. See, Brian was a dancer. He was built for it, he’s practiced it, he looks _good_ doing it. Brian had maneuvered so Pat’s hands were on his hips and he was rhythmically gyrating their hips together. Brian's hands were everywhere. Waving in the air, in Pat’s hair, feeling up his arms. It was very reminiscent of the first night of rehearsals, but that feels so far away. He feels so much more _comfortable_ now. Now that he knows Brian accepts him, that he’s not going anywhere. Even in the throngs of a crowd Pat feels like Brian's entire focus is on him. Everywhere they were connected was singing. Pat doesn’t know how long that goes on, but he knows he needs to pee and he needs another drink.

  
He tells Brian as much and they agree to meet back up at the bar in a few minutes. Pat is intoxicated. With alcohol or with all things Brian, he is unsure. Pat has to maneuver through many sweaty bodies to get to the bathroom. His head was just an internal countdown until he gets Brian in his sights again. Exiting the bathroom and approaching the bar, he’s practically buzzing with anticipation to be next to the other man. When he does see Brian it’s not exactly the joyous reunion he had been imagining.

  
Someone else was _touching_ Brian. Someone _else_ was touching Brian. A non-Pat was touching Brian. Logically Pat knows he has no claim to Brian whatsoever. Nothing Brian has done could ever be interpreted as anything other than friendly. He has every right to flirt with other people. Then why was Pat so infuriated? Why did he just want to walk up and punch the other guy? Before he could really explore that thought, Brian was looking up, scanning the room, and making eye contact with Pat. His eyes screamed for help. This was not consensual touching. Brian didn’t want the non-Pat.

  
Pat steels every ounce of confidence and courage he has and strides over to where Brian is sitting on the stool and this asshole has his hand far too high up on Brian’s thigh. Pat practically mozies on up to Brian and slings his arm around his shoulder.

“Is this guy bothering you?” Pat asks in the most serious voice he could manage. “...sweetheart.” He added because it felt right. Brian easily wrapped his arm around Pats waist.

  
“This is the boyfriend I was telling you about.” Brian said to the guy, a sleazy smile grew on the guy's face. His fingers on Brian's thigh seemed to tighten.

  
“Oh I don’t mind sharing.” He said, his eyes shifting to Pat and winking. Alright, time to escalate a little bit.

  
“Listen fuck-o. I’m a jealous man. Either get your hand off my…” Dammit, he has no idea what to call him. “Brian. Or we are going to have some problems.” He couldn’t bring himself to say boyfriend. If he had said it, even in this fucked up situation, he never would have been able to get over it.

  
The guy’s hand lingered as he made eye contact with Pat. Pat did his best to stare the guy down, channeling his character Burger Chainz, until he withdrew his hand, huffed out a “whatever” and walked away. Pat was definitely filled with adrenaline, his arm still around Brian. He made eye contact with his boy-wonder and couldn’t help smiling.

  
“Fuck-o?” Brian says in lieu of any reasonable thought.

  
“I don’t know man. I never claimed to be clever.” Pat said, covering his face with his hand.

  
“That’s not true Pat Gill. You’re plenty clever, just maybe not when you’re jealous.”

  
“Are you ever going to let me live that down?” Pat asked, already knowing the answer.

  
“Never.” Brian replied with a beaming smile. “You wanna get out of here? That kinda killed the mood.” Pat had never heard a better idea.

  
Brain offered to put up Pat for the night, but Pat didn’t think he could stand sleeping so close to Brian tonight. Anywhere within a square mile would be too close after a night like this. Luckily they were headed in the same direction. Pat was able to ride a few stops with Brian by his side. Brian made fun of him a little more “You play the jealous boyfriend role well, Patrick.”

  
When he got home, he showered the night off his tired body, and curled up in bed. Everything was so crazy, from the very first thought that he might get to kiss Brian, to the dancing, god the dancing. It was so much. The feeling of Brian pressed against him, his hips pressed against his. Fuck, he could feel every part of Brian under his hands, nothing about those leggings were keeping Brians modesty in tact. Pat was very, lean back and think of England while it was happening, but now, god. In his own bed, thoughts of the Brian filling his head, fuck, he was getting hard. It would be so easy, to just let go, let the filthy thoughts that have been pushing at him all night take control.  
His hands, on their own volition, were palming as his covered crotch with the memory of the open expanse of Brian's chest glittering with sweat under the lights of the dance floor. He slipped his hands under his underwear, remembering the feeling of Brian tugging just ever so slightly at his hair. He could practically feel the ghost sensations of it now. He jerked himself off thinking of when Brian turned himself around and ground his ass onto Pats dick. He came, biting his hand to stifle to shout, remembering exactly what it sounded like to have Brian call him his boyfriend.


	3. One Small Fraction of the Main Attraction

Pat doesn’t mean to come out to all his coworkers. It seems like he doesn't _mean_ to do much these days. Things just happen, he just says things. It’s a meeting with the senior producers, a meeting Brian isn’t in, so a boring meeting. God, he was so lovesick. He was vaguely paying attention when Jenna, who always has bright ideas spoke up.

  
“I think we should try to produce some special content for the month of June. Get all the LGBT+ folks in a special edition of Overboard or something?”

  
“Wouldn’t that just be a regular episode of Overboard? We’re all some sort of queer.” Pat asked, not remembering that up until now all the jokes had been that Pat was the ‘token straight friend.’

  
“You’re queer?” Jenna asked, cocking her head. She instantly looked like she regretted it, like she realized this wasn’t the place. But come on, Pat knows all these people. He _likes_ these people. There’s probably no safer space than the offices of Polygon.com

  
“Yeah, I’m gay.” and that was that. He was Out. Everyone just gave polite nods and the meeting went on, but Pat was buzzing with accomplishment. He couldn't wait to tell Brian, god he was so gone on that guy.

  
Before he could beeline to Brian's desk to tell him the good news, Simone was grabbing his arm and pulling him into a private room. Pat wasn’t really nervous, Simone was great. She was probably the non-Brian person he was closest to.

“So, what the hell was that, Pat?” She asked, crossing her arms.

“What?” Pat asked, feigning innocence. He knew what Simone was talking about and he knew he probably should have given her a heads up.

“Did you really just come out? Since when has that been a thing?”

  
“Well, I’ve been gay my entire life, I’ve known for a while, but I came out for the first time a couple weeks ago.” Pat answered, still trying to keep it cool. He knows exactly where this is going to go and he’s not exactly excited for it.

  
“Does this happen to have anything to do with your secret project with one Brian David Gilbert, perhaps?” Simone has been trying to get Pat to admit his feelings for Brian for what feels like _years_. Hell, Simone figured out Pat was into Brian before Pat did. Long before he was willing to admit it even to himself.

  
“Come on, Sim, you know we’re just friends.” Pat did his best to lie through his teeth. He knew by now, especially after the night at the club, that his feelings for Brian were anything but friendly.

  
“Whatever Pat. I expect all the details when you guys finally bone.” Simone said before abruptly turning and leaving the room.

  
Pat shook off the conversation and went to find Brian. It really didn’t take long. He turned the corner towards Brian's desk and bumped into another, Brian shaped figure. Brian’s hands were on his waist steading him.

  
“Woah, where are you going so fast Pat Gill?” Brian asked, flashing one of his breathtaking smiles. God, everything about Brian was breathtaking.

  
“To find you.” Pat answers honestly. He’s too excited to contain himself.

  
“Well, I must be the luckiest man on earth.” Brian replies easily. And damn, doesn’t that make Pat just swoon. “What are you so eager for?”

  
“I just came out!” Pat exclaims not able to keep it contained anymore.

  
“What?” Brain asked, his smile growing even larger.

  
“Yeah, in that meeting with all the producers. Jenna was talking about Pride month and it just came out.” Pat chuckled with the double meaning. “I just told everyone, Jenna, Clayton, Simone, Tara, everybody. Practically the whole office knows I’m gay.”

  
“Oh my god! That’s amazing Patrick.” Then Brian was hugging him around the middle -woah- Brian picked him up around the middle and spun him around before setting him down again.

  
“I know!” Pat squealed. “We should celebrate tonight. What are you up to?” Brian's face slightly falls at that, making Pat’s heart clench.

  
“Well, I actually have a shopping appointment after work, with a boutique. It’s to get our costumes.” Brian explained, his hands still around Pat.

  
“Oh! Well can I come?” Pat asked without thinking about it.

  
“You sure you want to? It might be a lot?” Brian asked, his smile going shy.

  
“Of course, I am an out and proud gay man. I have no fear of a clothing store.” Pat proclaimed excitedly.

  
“Alright then. We’ll take the train after work. We can get dinner afterwards.”

  
“It’s a date!” Pat said and instantly regretted it. Brian made no comment on it and they companionably walked back to their desks. They have a couple more hours of the work days left. Plenty of time for Pat to get nervous.  
  


***

Boutique was a strong word for the store Brian led them too. Pat would more accurately call it a sex shop. A sex shop where the woman behind the counter greets Brian by name.

  
“BDG!” She exclaims. Her eyes then land on Pat and says something even more confusing. “Ooh is this the legendary Partick Gill?” He and Brian both blush bright red at that. Brian lets out a weak chuckle.

  
“Yeah, this is Pat. Pat this is Carmilla. She’s the one who told me about the contest in the first place.” The men both looked incredibly awkward, but the woman, Carmilla, was unfazed.

  
“So what brings you boys in today. Business or pleasure?” She asks with a wink.

  
“Well, we need to get our costumes for Rocky and Janet.” Brian explains. She smiles wide and slips out from behind the counter. She leads them through the store, past a lot of different items that Pat doesn’t have the brain power to focus on. She opens the door to a side room filled with racks and racks of _lingerie_. Oh god, this was a lot, but Brian warned him and Pat’s a big boy. He could handle some underwear.

  
“Well Pat. Your costume is pretty straight forward. Luckily for you, we just got a shipment of exactly what you need. She pressed a couple different sizes of the same straight forward golden speedo into Pat’s hands to try on later. She then turned to Brian. “Now you, my child, have some _options_.” And didn’t that make Pat dizzy.

  
Brian picked a couple choices off the racks. At some point Carmilla wandered off to attend to other matters. Leaving Pat as the sole focus of Brian’s attention. Pat tried his best to give, noncommittal, vague opinions anytime that Brian asked for them. He didn’t want to admit that _God Brian you would look absolutely amazing in any of this and I’ve just realized we’re gonna be all over each other while practically naked_. It was time to try on the clothes they picked, and hoo boy this is going to be a lot. Pat felt like he might be too excited.

  
They each went into two separate dressing rooms -thank god- but they would meet up in the larger stall to compare notes. Pat slipped into the (get it together, just think of them as underwear. Shiny, tight underwear)shorts, trying on a couple before settling on the right size. He looked in the mirror. So much of himself on display.  
“You ready for me Bri?” Pat called, cracking open his dressing room door.

  
“Come on in!” Brian called back. Pat took one last steading breath and entered Brian’s room. Pat doesn’t know how long he stood there just staring at Brian, completely forgetting that he was equally on display.

  
Brian was wearing a bra made of white lace that Pat could totally see through. He could see the other man's nipples. As Pat kept taking in the image before him he realized that Brian's nipples would be the least of his problems. Brian was wearing a scrappy pair of white _panties_ that had a little pink bow right where the head of Brian's _cock_ rested, barely concealed by the light fabric. He was also wearing a garter belt that held up a pair of sheer white stockings. God Brian was wearing a pair of patent leather white pumps that Pat didn’t even see him pick up. This was sinful. The last surviving piece of catholicism died within him at this sight.

  
Certain questions are finally answered for Pat. Yes, Brian’s blush does extend farther than just his cheeks. Damn, his whole chest is blooming red. Second, yup, he totally has enough visual information to be pretty confident he knows what Brian’s dick looks like. He could pick that dick out of a line up.

  
Pat feels like he’s going to die. Not only is he looking at Brian and that’s driving him crazy. But he’s also being looked at by Brian and that is a whole separate death. Brian's pupils are blown wide and his mouth is hanging open just a little bit. Pat doesn’t know what that means.

  
“You look good Patrick.” Brian says, starting to circle around him in the small room, his heels clacking. Pat feels like prey.

  
“So do you, Brian.” Pat said, strategically crossing his hands in front of himself, because yup, he’s totally getting hard. From there he decides to only make pointed eye contact with Brian. He can’t let his eyes wander. He needs to be professional goddamnit.

  
“There’s this slip that's supposed to go over it, but you’re going to be ripping that off of me by the end so I figured it’d be best to leave it off for now.” That just kills Pat. He realizes what he’s really in for. He needs to touch Brian dressed like this. His hands are going to be all over Brian’s bare skin. He’s going to hold Brian, smashing their bodies together with nothing separating them, but these two very thin pieces of fabric.

  
“I'm gonna need a cup Brian.” Pat blurts out, in lieu of anything that makes sense.

  
“What?” Brian asks, obviously not following.

  
“You know, a cup. To keep all my junk in place. My junk is way to on display at this point.” Pat says laughter bubbling out in his voice. Brian follows him with a peel of his own shrieking laugh.

  
“Alright, That can be arranged. I for one, am totally going to tuck.” It was easier then, Pat’s ridiculous boner faded. Brian, as always, eased his worries and insecurities. When pressed close to Brian it was easy to forget how vulnerable he was. “Thanks for doing this with me Pat.”

  
Pat reached out and tucked a stray hair behind Brian’s ear. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” It was true, almost too true, too real for this ridiculous moment, this ridiculous man.


	4. I've Got An Itch To Scratch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pats kinda a dirty mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled coming up with different ways to describe Brian David Gilbert's ass.

Pat is going slowly and thoroughly insane. Things are getting out of hand. Rehearsals at Brians are getting out of hand. They are starting to get the choreography down, but Brian wants it to be perfect.

  
Brian has rented an actual dance studio rehearsal space. Pat tries to question how much that costs exactly but Brian brushes him off with “I know a guy.” The walls are covered in mirrors and as they dance he can see every angle of Brian.

  
It’s gotten intense. Pat can’t go straight from work to rehearsal to the studio anymore. He makes excuses to Brian about “feeding Charlie” but really he just can’t do it. He can’t spend all day looking at Brian, Brian focused at his desk, performing in front of a camera, those stolen secret moments of just the two of them. He can’t spend all day trying to keep it together, then spend all night, in Brian’s words “writhing all over each other” without jerking off first. He races home, barely makes it to his room before shoving his hands down his pants. He tries to get it all out of his system, but he just has so many images to work with. Brian in that damn costume, Brian shirtless, losing his tank top at some point throughout the evening. Despite all his best efforts, he's still just as much of a horny mess once he gets back to his apartment at the end of the night. Fucking his second orgasm of the day out of himself. That becomes almost every night. Even when they aren’t dancing, they get dinner together or drinks after work. Sometimes they cook in one of their too small kitchens and spend the evening playing games or watching movies. Brian is insistanly exposing Pat to musical theater. Newsies is one of Pat’s favorites.

It’s two weeks before the performance and Brian has decided it’s time for _dress rehearsals_. From that point on they are going to be practicing, in costume. To get comfortable, to get used to it. Pat doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to being this close to Brian. It will always be special. God, Pat makes himself wanna puke.

  
As usual, he raced home, takes a little extra time working himself up, so the reward is even more sweet. After he finishes cleaning himself up, he slips on his cup, his costume and some sweatpants over top. Pat’s a little jittery on the train ride to the rehearsal space. This is a lot, but he trusts Brian. They’ve come this far, Pat doesn’t want to turn back now.

  
Brian beats Pat there, he always does. Pat has been starting to wonder if Brian suspects anything about his nefarious activities. Brian greets him with a hug, despite seeing each other an hour ago. Honestly, someone should just shoot him.

  
“Glad you could make it.” Brian says with a teasing smile. He is also wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Pat can see those tantalizing white heels off to the side. He looks so normal right now, but Pat knows that those clothes are hiding an angel.

  
Pat can’t take it. He pulls Brian into another crushing hug. He knows this must be crazy, but Brian looks so soft and he needs to be reminded of that, absorb that, before he’s faced with the intensity that is nearly naked Brian, grinding on his dick.

  
“What’s gotten into you Pat Gill?” Brian asks while tightly returning Pat’s hug.

  
“I’m just really grateful Bri.” Pat answers. He plans to stop there, but the words keep falling out. “This has been so fun. I’ve had such a good time spending so much time with you the past month. You’re my best friend Brian and I’m so happy you asked me to do this.”

  
“Hey, I’m grateful too. You always follow along with my crazy ideas. I feel like you’re my partner in crime.” Brian was so sweet, he was so amazing, Pat wanted him so bad, he might die with the weight of it. “Come on big guy, I feel like you’re stalling. It’s time to get into costume.” Damnit. Pat was caught out. He really wanted to delay the inevitable. Pat peels himself away from Brian and shakily toes off his shoes (they decided Pat would perform barefoot), slips off his sweatshirt and pants. Steals his last sane breath and turns around to face Brian.

  
In his head, he had only prepared for the full frontal view of Brian. What he got instead what Brian bent over, struggling to get his sweatpants detangled from his feet. Pat could see the long lines of the other mans toned back, interrupted only by some of the most delicate straps Pat had ever seen.

  
Honestly, Pat was trying to hyperfixate on Brian's back so he wouldn’t stare at Brian’s ass. His perfect, amazing, breathtaking ass. Bent over like he was, Pat had the perfect view. His behind was hoisted high in the air, the white fabric stretching across the lovely expanse. Pat wanted to touch, taste, feel him. His ass led down the back of his creamy thighs. Covered by the straps of the garter belt, making everything look sinful, forbidden. This was really doing it for Pat. He could feel his cock start to stiffen within the plastic confines of the cup.

  
Brian finally manages to wiggle out of his clothes. He dithers a little bit more, slipping on his shoes, fluffing his hair, making some adjustments. He then turns on a dime and faces Pat. He had put on the silky white slip, somehow that made Pat want to touch Brian’s thighs even more. He’s hit by the realization that he’s definitely going to get to touch Brian's thighs. He’s going to be touching quite a bit of the younger man here in just a few moments.

  
Brian leads them in some warm up activities. All involving getting up close and personal with each other. He puts on some hype music and they just jump around with each other. After Pat is officially -loosened up- Brian asks “Are you ready Pat?” and hit play on the song.

  
The thing about the song they are performing. The whole scene is about a complete virgin, Janet, trying to convince newly created Rocky, to give her that sweet, sweet dick. Brian’s brilliant idea for choreography, is basically just very athletic, vertical sex, with clothes on, for a loose definition of clothes.

  
Throughout the dance, Brian plays the part well. He looks eager and excited, he looks _virgirnal_. Pat finds that he’s getting everything he wants. He wants to slide his hands up Brian’s thighs, that’s exactly what he gets to do. He gets to tweak Brian’s nipples while grinding his crotch against his ass. There's even a point where Brian bends down and Pat gets to slap Brian on that lovely bum. Towards the end, when it’s clear they are no longer in the foreplay section, but the actual intercorse part of the evening, Brian wraps his legs around Pat's middle and just bounces, shaking his hair, pushing his _tits_ into Pat’s face.

  
It wasn’t originally planned, but during a practice, Pat nearly dropped Brian. It was bound to happen. Pat managed to catch him, but in a way that flipped him over, so Brian’s face was in Pat’s crotch. His legs on either side of Pat’s head. -This is brilliant, Pat! Can you do it on purpose?- Then it was part of the choreography.  
Pat thanks his lucky stars every night that Brian chose such a short song. When they strike their final pose and the music cuts off, the only sound is their heavy breathing. Their chests rising and falling together. Pats hands still on Brian. Pat never wants to move. He could exist like this forever.


	5. No Use Getting Into Heavy Petting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian isn't being subtle, but Pat is so oblivious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My boi Pat Gill gets angsty

This was the closest they’ve ever come to having a fight. Yeah, they’ve disagreed, but Pat’s a laid back guy. He’s perfectly happy letting Brian have his way. This time though, he had to put his foot down.

  
“We can’t invite people from our _place of work_ to see our strip show! That’s how you get called into HR, Brian.” They were having this not-argument-but-almost at Pat’s apartment. They had been lightweight cuddling, as had become the norm, and lazily playing a random co-op game.

  
“But Pat, the winner is decided by the volume of the audience. We need people there to cheer for us.” Brian looked at him so insistently, but Pat saw in his eyes that if Pat said no, then he’d respect that. But, Pat really did want to win this for Brian.

  
“Fine, we can invite them, but not Simone.” Pat said stubbornly, only half meaning it.

  
“Oh come on, Pat! She’s the loudest of the bunch. We need her!” Damnit, he was right. Plus, Simone would be so insulted if she was left out. She’s been asking after their “secret project” for weeks. Pat knows she’d be so thrilled to be clued in.

  
“Ugh fine.” Pat agreed begrudgingly, but a lot of it was for show. When it came down to it, yeah they were coworkers, but they were also his _friends_. Pat kinda enjoyed holding out on Brian sometimes. When Pat finally agrees to one of his ideas, he’s always rewarded with an armful of Brian.

***

Fuck Simone. Really, she can go to hell. She. Is. The. Worst. He knew inviting her was a bad idea.

  
Brian had invited everyone out for drinks. He got everybody a couple drinks in and floated the idea, painfully casual.

  
“So, Pat and I have been working on a project.” Simone, who had been looking at her phone, snapped her head up in attention. “We’re actually competing in a Rocky Horror themed dance competition.”

  
It was clear that whatever Simone, and the rest of the group who had also noticed something was going on, was expecting, this was not it. Simone gave her signature squawking “what” with others making similar exclamations. Then Brian spilled into the same explanation he had given Pat weeks ago.

  
“A local theater company that does Rocky Horror shadow casts regularly, decided to host a competition. Each group acts as their independent shadow cast for just one song. At the end the audience votes by screaming for whoever they think did the best.” Brain explained.

  
“That’s where you guys come in. We need people there to cheer us on.” Pat chimed in, because damn this was as much his baby as Brians. He’s put in so much work, he wants to win as much as Brian does.

  
“You know, I’ve never seen the movie.” Simone mentions, her eyes singing of mischief.

  
“Oh my god! It’s an amazing cult classic. It’s a must watch.” Jenna says excitedly. Pat knew that Jenna had mentioned going to the show before. Then Clayton and Karen were chiming in that they hadn’t seen the movie either.

  
“Well, we just gotta have a movie night if we’re going to go to your guys’ show.” Simone says wickedly. Pat knew he was in for it then. There are very few things Brian David Gilbert loves more than movie nights. Brian practically squealed.

  
“Oh my god yes! That sounds so amazing!” He said, nearly jumping in his seat with excitement. Pat was fine, until Brian turned his eyes on Pat. “Can we Pat? Please? Can we have everyone over to watch it before the show?” He was asking quietly just to Pat, like Pat’s was the only opinion that mattered. What was he supposed to do with that?

  
“Yeah, of course Bri. That sounds fun.” Pat answered because who was he to say no to that?

  
“I’ll even host.” Simone chimed in, being their attention back to the group. Reminding Pat that Brian wasn’t the only person who existed.

  
With plans hashed out to all convene at Simone’s apartment the next Saturday, a week before the actual performance. There’s a lull in the conversation and Pat just knows Brian is buzzing with some excess energy. Therefore, Pat is not surprised when Brian says, “Hey guys, wanna move this party to a club? I bet I could get Pat to show off some of his new moves.” Doesn’t that just take his breath away. Brian talking about him like he’s something to be “shown off,” something beautiful.

  
The thing was, despite Pats protestations, Brian had kinda taught him how to dance. Their performance really wasn’t that hard, but they had the dance studio already booked. So after practicing their choreography, Brian had started teaching him different dances. It started with ballroom, then swing, then it morphed into them just putting on their favorite songs and moving together. Pat could decently say that he knew how to dance now, at least with Brian. Pat’s not sure he could do that with anyone else.  
The group agreed, split the fee for a ride share, and there they were, at the same damn club Brian had taken him to last time. Of course, they’re at a gay club, Clayton was the one straight person in the group and he was hella chill.

  
Brian marched him straight to the dance floor, Pat had drunk plenty at the bar. As they pressed through the crowd, Brian clung close to Pat and told him “Take the lead Patrick.”  
So Pat did. He kept it P.G. He kept twirling Brian around then bringing him in close for tight dips. It was incongruent to the music around them, but Brian made sure everything happened in time with the music. Their friends formed a loose circle around them, giving them room to really pull off the most stupid shit. After a while, as the dance floor filled up, their friends pushed closer, the mood shifted, more towards actual _club_ dancing. Brian looked so good, but Pat couldn’t keep up for long. He needed some space, maybe another drink. He said goodbye to Brian with a squeeze and knew he could probably find Clayton at the bar.

  
He easily spotted Clayton and Alegra in a booth, surrounded by the purses of everyone else who was currently on the dancefloor. “Hey guys.” He says, sliding in across from them, running his fingers through his hair, slightly out of breath.

  
“Having fun Patrick?” Allegra asked in her all knowing voice.

  
“Umm, yeah. I am. Are you, Legs?” He asked back. He’s always been pretty good at matching Allegra, punch for punch.

  
“Oh I’m having lots of fun, but that’s not a surprise. You on the other hand, usually have to be dragged to places like this. Before today, I’ve never seen you on a dance floor.” Pat wanted to argue with that, but it was true. He might have gone out dancing a couple times in college, but other than that, other than with Brian, he’s never even had the desire.

  
“Yeah, I guess I’ve just been exploring new hobbies.” Pat said, trying to play it cool. Clayton let out a huff of a laugh at that. “What?” Pat asked in indignation.

  
“Nothing, it’s just I have a hard time imagining you going out to clubs alone in your free time.” He says, obviously angling for something, but Pat hasn’t caught on yet.

  
“I don’t go alone, I always go with…” Shit. Pat was caught in their trap. This is exactly what they wanted him to admit to.

  
“What Pat? Who do you always go with?”

  
“I go with Brian. Brian and I go out dancing sometimes now! We also do other stuff, like play video games and watch movies. What's wrong with that?” There's nothing weird going on." Pat says, panicking a little bit.

  
“Nothing’s wrong with that Pat.” Allegra said shifting tones, reaching over to place a calming hand on Pat. “I’m just wondering if there’s something you aren’t telling us.”

  
“What do you mean?” He asks cluelessly. Allegra let out a little chuckle.

  
“Are you and Brian dating?” Her tone and eye contact much more blunt this time. She’s done dancing around the topic. Pat sputters.

  
“No. We’re just friends.” Why does that sound like such a lie? Before he could ruminate on that much, the other women were joining in. Karen, Simone, and Jenna gathered around the table. Pat immediately noticed the lack of Brian and couldn’t help but inquire. “Where’s Brian.” Pretty much everyone let out a laugh at that, causing Pat to blush.

  
“He’s still on the dance floor. He said to tell you he missed you.” Jenna was the one who answered. This caused Simone and Allegra to both keel over in laughter. He shook his head at them and wordlessly went to find Brian. After the last time he left Brian alone in this club, he’s not keen to do it again.

  
“Yeah, go get your man.” Allegra called after him. He flipped her off as he eased into the crowd.

***

The thing about Simone’s apartment, or any affordable apartment in New York City, is that there wasn’t a whole lot of places to sit. So logically, Brian was sitting in his lap. He had just plopped there like it wasn’t a big deal, and Pat wasn’t gonna say any different. Brian wrapped an arm around Pat, his hand slotted into Pat’s hair. Pat’s hands tapping patterns into Brian's knees, draped across his lap.

  
Pat had seen the movie before, he and Brian watched it shortly after Brian had pitched the whole idea. Watching it then there was a respectable cushion of space between them. Now, so many things are different. Pat feels so much more comfortable, cared for, cherished. He wants to say he feels loved, but that’s ridiculous. Brian doesn’t love him, maybe in a friend way, but not the way Pat loves. Pat has a hard time focusing on anything other than Brian, isn’t that just the story of his life.

  
The most embarrassing moment is when they actually watch the Touch-A Touch-A Touch Me scene and they have to admit that, yeah, that’s what they are going to be dancing to and yeah, that’s what they are going to be wearing. Pat does his best to hide his blush in Brian’s hair as his friends hoot and holler.

  
Not long after that, Brian is getting antsy. He’s incapable of sitting still, but he’s been going so well tonight. “Hey Sim, do you have any popcorn?” Brian asked over Pat’s head.

  
“Ooh good idea, Brian. I’ll go make some.” She says and gracefully stands.

  
“I’ll help.” Brian says, much less gracefully untangling himself from Pat. He immediately misses Brian’s weight on him.

  
Pat tries his best to be patient, but he checks his phone for the second time and sees five minutes have passed. Well, that’s long enough to go without Brian and his drink is empty so he has an excuse to go into the kitchen and get a new one. It’s just a coincidence that that is where Brian is.

He was about to enter the kitchen like a normal person, but something about the voices he hears on the other side of the door makes him stop.

  
“Gosh, Sim, I don’t know what to do. I’m so in love.” Brian said, but his voice sounded _anguished_. Not at all like how Pat thought he should sound.

  
“Are you going to tell Pat?” Simone asked, she sounded so gentle. That somehow made this worse.

  
“No. I can’t do that. I don’t want to mess anything up.”

  
“You know he’s crazy about you Brian.” Simone said like it was a known fact. Oh god. Does everyone know?

  
“Yeah. I know.” Brian replies.

  
That just... that breaks Pat. He doesn’t know what to do with that. Not only does Simone know how he feels about Brian, but everyone in this entire apartment probably knows. Brian knows because Pat is so fucking obvious. Brian knows and Brian doesn’t care. Here Brian is, confiding in Simone about being in love with someone. Some non-Pat. God, Pat’s such a shitty friend. Brian doesn’t feel comfortable telling Pat he likes somebody. He probably doesn’t want to make Pat, god what, jealous?  
They might continue to talk, but Pat can’t hear them over the rushing of blood in his ears. Then the door to the kitchen is swinging open and fuck, he has to look at Brian.  
“Pat?” Is all Brian says. He looks concerned, why is he so concerned? Wait, Pat’s back was up against the wall. Shit he must have stepped backwards, and yup he had knocked something off the wall. “You alrig-”

  
“I gotta go.” Pat threw the words out.

  
“What?” Brian asked, starting to step closer to Pat. Pat couldn’t have that. He turned on his heel and started walking out of the apartment, throwing excuses over his shoulder.

  
“Yeah, Quinn texted me. He’s locked out of the apartment. I gotta go let him in.”

  
“I thought Quinn was out of town this weekend?” Brian asked, because of course he knew that. Brian knows everything.

  
“He came home early and he left his keys at his girlfriends house. And you know, since they’re in a long distance relationship, he can’t just go back and grab his keys. So, I gotta go Brian.” Pat said, trying to make his voice steady.He looked at Brian then. Brian knew he was lying.

  
“Well, can I come with you?” Brian asked in a small voice. Pat almost breaks.

  
“No. Quinn seemed upset. He might need a shoulder to cry on. You’d just get in the way.” Fuck, Pat could see the hurt bloom across Brian’s face as if he’d hit him. He’ll feel plenty bad about that later, but right now, he just needs to get _away_.

  
“Will you call me, later? Let me know everything is okay?”

  
“I’ll see you Monday at work.” With that, Pat closes the door between them. He wants to break down into a crying mess right there, but he needs at least a little distance. He makes it onto the subway before he notices he’s still carrying his empty beer bottle. He lets himself cry then.


	6. I Want To Go The Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the big dance with a hearty side of realizations.

Pat spends Monday trying to avoid Brian, but that turns out to be a foolish endeavor. Pat should have known Brian wouldn’t stand for it. It lasted until lunch, because Pat is weak. Brian sidled up to Pat’s desk like nothing was different.

  
“Wanna go to lunch Pat?” He asked. Pat looked up at him, tried to scan him for any weirdness or judgement, but he couldn’t see anything other than warm embrace of Brian’s hazel eyes. God, Pat is so gay.

  
“Yeah, where’re we going?” Pat answered, gathering his stuff, ready to follow the other man anywhere.

  
Then, things were _normal_. Brian didn’t stop touching him, which is what Pat was really afraid of. So what, if Brian knew about Pat’s feelings, he obviously doesn’t return them and is perfectly content to ignore them. Pat should take notes.

  
The week leading up to the competition was actually pretty fun. Their rehearsals had taken on an ease. Even with all the exposed skin, Pat was getting comfortable with it. Brian had started easing Pat into the idea that other, non-Brian people were going to see him like this. That definitely scared Pat, but he kept telling himself that the other people didn’t matter. Brian accepted him exactly as he was, he didn’t have to care about what any strangers had to say.

Brian was a little timid when he told Pat he thought he should shave.

  
“Yeah, I totally figured the beard should go.” Pat agreed. Brian looked like he had more to say.

  
“I think maybe you should shave...everything.”

  
“Everything? Like _everything_ everything?” Brian just nodded. Pat sighed, but knew Brian was right. It was what the costume called for. “I don’t think I have a razor strong enough for that.”

  
And that’s how Pat found himself, the night before the competition in Brian’s bathtub while the younger man carefully shaved Pat’s legs. If felt _intimate_. Pat didn’t dwell on that feeling. He just tried to keep reminding himself that Brian was in love with someone else. He was just going to have to be okay with that.

  
It had been previously agreed upon that Pat would spend the night at Brian’s tonight. That way they would have the whole next day to “get ready,” whatever that entailed. Pat tried to insist on taking the couch.

  
“No, Pat. If you sleep on the couch, you’re going to fuck up you’re back. We can’t have you in pain tomorrow. Take my bed.” Pat was past the point of arguing with Brian, so he did as he was told. He didn’t know if it was amazing or miserable to fall asleep surrounded by the smell of Brian.

  
By the time Pat woke up, Brian had already gone out to get them bagels and coffee. Pat’s a little disappointed. He had kinda wanted to know what Brian looked like right after waking up, still in his pajamas, bed head, sleep in his eyes. Pat figures he doesn’t deserve that.

  
“I got us the breakfast of champions, Pat Gill.” Brian said triumphantly as Pat sat down next to him.

  
“The breakfast of a true New Yorker. I’m proud of you Brian.” He might not be freshly woken up, but Brian does look so soft. Pat wants to touch his hair.

  
“Aww, thanks Pat.”

  
They had a companionable morning, joined by Laura and Jonah, Brian having gotten breakfast for them as well. It was around noon when Brian was pushing Pat into the bathroom to shower. “We don’t have to be anywhere for 7 hours, Brian. Do I really have to do this now?”

  
“Perfection takes time.”

  
They take their turns in the bathroom. Pat slept in Brian’s bed and used his shampoo. God, is he ever going to get the smell out. Does he ever want to? Pat’s going to be wearing a wig so he doesn’t have to worry much about his hair. Brian on the other hand is “rocking his natural mane” so Pat get’s to watch Brian carefully blow dry and style his hair. All the little dexterous actions are so lost on Pat. By the time he is done, his hair perfectly framing his face, Pat is convinced he’d just performed magic.

  
Brain was right. That did take a lot of time. Then Brian does his make-up. He just highlights all the best parts of his face, brings out his lovely cheekbones, brightens his eyes. He looks so focused at himself in the mirror. Pat isn’t sure if he could examine himself so intensely the way Brian is. He looks like he’s definitely done this before. Pat’s so grateful he gets to witness it. He wonders if the other person, the one who really has Brian's heart, have they seen Brian like this?

  
Then it’s Pat’s turn to get his make-up done. Brian, promises not to overdo it, but Pat tells him to “do your worst Brian.” When he looks at himself in the mirror he can pinpoint the differences, his cheeks are more pronounced and rosier, there’s black rimming his eyes, his lips are a cherry red, but he somehow still looks like himself.

  
“Thanks Brian.” Is all Pat can really say.

  
“Thank you, Pat.”

  
They did get ready early so they have some time to kill. They eat a very light, late lunch. They won’t be hungry, but they won’t have food sloshing around in their bellies on stage. They get dressed a little earlier than they need to as well, then sit around playing video games in full costume, hair and make up. Laura comes by and takes lots of pictures. Pat doesn’t even mind.

  
When it’s time to take the subway to the venue, Pat slips on a sweatshirt and sweatpants. Brian on the other hand just dons a trench coat. Pat has a backpack full of changes of clothes for them to wear after the competition.

  
They get to the venue and Pat feels like he should be nervous, but he isn’t. Brian holds his hand as they check in. They have to sit in a certain competitors section, but their friends come say hi before finding their seats. They all fawn over how amazing they look. They all tell them to “break a leg”

“You were right. It’s really great to have all of them here. It’ll be nice to have people witness all our hard work.” Pat tells Brian.

  
“I’m always right. It’s good to hear you say it. But yeah, all jokes aside, it’s good to have everyone here.” Brian is looking at him so sweetly. Pat feels a little emboldened. Like maybe he could get some answers.

  
“Is there anyone who isn't here, who you feel like should be?” Pat asks, his voice almost cracking. A look of _understanding_ , crosses Brian’s face. Like maybe he’s just now getting something that he’s been struggling with for awhile. Pat has no clue exactly what that thing is, he still feels out of the loop.

  
“The only person I need to have here is you, Pat Gill.”

Then the MC was on stage starting the show. Pat would like to say he was totally paying attention, but Brian’s words were playing on his head on repeat. He was lucky Brian had his shit together, pulling him up and into position when the time came for their song.

  
The MC announced them over the movie as they came on stage. “Now, presenting the classic, Touch-A Touch-A Touch Me, The Gill’s.” He thought he could hear Simone’s squawking at that. That’s what they agreed to sign up as. It seemed to make the most sense. They couldn’t use GillandGilbert, which was branded by Polygon. So, Pat’s name was close enough for both of them.

  
They were starting from opposite sides of the stage. Their music started, Brian confidently strode towards him, his heels given him some pep in his step. Pat took a deep, centering breath and began playing the part.

_I was feeling done in, couldn't win_   
_I'd only ever kissed before_

Brian reached him. He placed his hands on Pat's chest. Pat gripped him around the waist and pulled him into a deep dip. Brian’s neck arched back, his hair fanning out beautifully. He was so stunning.

_I thought there's no use getting into heavy petting_   
_It only leads to trouble and seat wetting_

As he pulled Brian up, the younger man hitches a leg around Pat’s hips. Pat gripped Brian’s creamy thing and took a few steps backward, dragging Brian with him. As they stopped again, Brian punctuated the words of the song with a hip thrust into Pat. Luckily, they had practiced so thoroughly that Pat could do this dance in his sleep. He was definitely on autopilot now. He was drowning out the crowd, focusing instead on Brian. Brian looked amazing, but it was so much more than that. Pat thought he might be finally seeing Brian just as he is. No longer was everything clouded by Pat’s own self hatred.

_Now all I want to know is how to go_   
_I've tasted blood and I want more_

Brian plants his hands firmly on his shoulders, and slides down Pat’s body, shaking his head wildly as he makes his way to eye level with Pat’s crotch. Pat could hear Brian singing the lyrics along with the movie. His voice sounded delectable.

_I'll put up no resistance, I want to stay the distance_   
_I've got an itch to scratch, I need assistance_

Brian pops up from where he was knelt in front of him. Pat grips Brian around the waist, picking him up and spinning him around, putting him down so he’s facing away from Pat. Pat has to think about the fact that Brian could have asked anyone to do this. Pat’s not the only one who is down to clown with Brian, but Brian asked him. Wouldn’t his time have been better spent with someone else? Pat doesn’t understand Brian. He made it very clear, every step of the way that he wanted Pat there.

 _Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty_  
 _Thrill me chill me fulfill me_  
 _Creature of the night_.

Brian practically bends in half in front of Pat. Pat, as painstakingly rehearsed, lands a nice smack onto Brian’s ass. Brian snaps up like he’s surprised. Playing coy. Brian choreographed all of this. Sure, Pat put in a little input, but this has all been Brian’s idea. He wanted this. He wanted Pat to touch him like this, to see him like this. He’s wanted to spend all this time with him. Why?

_Then if anything grows while you pose_   
_I'll oil you up and rub you down_

Their hands are all over each other now as the shimmy in time with the music. Pat’s thinking of all the things Brian has said that he had refused to think about. “You’re my first choice, Pat.” “You’re my partner in crime.” He said he was “So in love.” Pat didn’t hear anything descriptor of the person. He just assumed. Who had Brian been really talking about?

_And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction_   
_You need a friendly hand and I need action_

For the briefest of moments, Brian spins away. Pat has a couple beats to miss him, before Brian is running back to him and jumping. Pat catches him, his muscles straining with the effort. His legs swing on either side of Pat’s hips before settling into a nice straddle. It takes trust to jump and expect someone to catch you. Since the very first time, Brian never seemed afraid, he always seemed to know that Pat would be there, at the very least to break his fall.

_Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty_   
_Thrill me chill me fulfill me_   
_Creature of the night._

Brian was bouncing up and down while his legs were wrapped around Pat. Brian had the brilliant idea “You should motorboat me during this part.” Their whole relationship was built on an insane amount of trust. Pat trusted Brian to be gentle with him. He trusted Brian not to push him farther than he could handle. He trusted him not to abandon him, he knew that Brian was in his life to stay.

_Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty_   
_Thrill me chill me fulfill me_   
_Creature of the night._

Pat easily flipped Brian upside down. Brian wrapped his legs around Pat’s neck and his arms around Pat’s thighs. Pat buried his face into the vertex of Brian’s body. Brian gave so much to Pat all the time. His time and energy and space. Sure, they were friends before this, but there was a divide. The past six weeks have been some of the best of Pat’s life. What happens after this? Is he supposed to go back to loving Brian from a comfortable distance? Pat can't do that, Brian has become an essential part of Pat’s life.

_Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty_   
_Thrill me chill me fulfill me_   
_Creature of the night._

Brian does a little roll in the air and ends up on his feet facing Pat. Pat places one hand on the small of Brian’s back and the other in his hair, pulling his head back to expose his neck. He nuzzles and nibbles at Brian’s neck “Make it look real Pat.” Brian had insisted. Brian was a busy guy. Work practically ran him ragged and it seemed every spare minute he had, he wanted to spend it with Pat. At the beginning of the week they always pulled out their calendar apps and penciled each other in for every free evening. Brian had even admitted that he was seeing Pat more than he was seeing Laura.

_Creature of the night_   
_Creature of the night_

Brian swung out, then dropped his weight so he could slide under Pat’s legs. Brian tells Pat everything. They’ve gone deep and intimate about almost every topic under the sun. Would Simone really know something about Brian that Pat didn’t? If Brian was in love with someone, wouldn’t he have told Pat?

_Creature of the night_   
_Creature of the night_

Pat twists around so he’s able to grab Brian's hands again and swing him back up. Brian has always been so careful around Pat. When Pat needed space, Brian gave it to him. Now, when all Pat wants is to be close to Brian, that is exactly what he was getting, but Brian made him ask for it. He has always let him lead the way. He would never say or do anything to Pat that he thought would make him uncomfortable or scare him away. Brian looked at him like he was cherished.

_Creature of the night_   
_Creature of the night_

Pat grabs Brian for one last lift. He hefts Brian up into the air, holding him over his head. Brian’s entire body is taunt to keep a straight line, their bodies forming a “T”  
Pat is an idiot. Of course, he needs to make the first move. He is the inexperienced party, he’s the one who has all the weird hang ups. Brian’s gonna wait until Pat initiates something, because that’s just the decent thing to do. How many times had Brian told him just that, in not so many words?

_Creature of the night_   
_Creature of the night_

Pat let’s gravity take a bit of control as he lowers Brian straight to the floor, depositing him between his legs. He follows into a kneel above Brian. He dips low, traces his way up Brians, tummy, chest, neck, to hover so close to Brian's face. He gets to stare into Brian’s eyes as the last notes of the song fade out. Then they are scampering off stage as the next performers run on.

Pat loves Brian, that’s not news. But maybe, just maybe, Brian loves him too.


	7. I've Tasted Blood and I Want More

He and Brian run off into the backstage area. They're still gripping each other tightly as they half-run down the little hallway. Pat needs to _talk_ to Brian. He needs to tell him how he feels. He’s bursting with it. He feels like he might die if he doesn’t explain everything to Brian _right now_.

  
“Come on Pat, we get to watch the rest of the show with the gang. I had them save us a couple seats.”

  
Fuck.

  
Pat has to sit through the rest of the show with an arm rest separating him from Brian. All his friends and even some people sitting nearby who he didn’t know, clapped him on the shoulder and administered praise. Brian looked high off all the attention. He was all bright eyes and a toothy grin. Pat was high off his realizations. The dancers he pays attention to are all great, but he has a feeling that Brian was better than all of them.

  
When the movie ends, the last performances complete, the MC calls all competitors onto the stage, it’s time for the voting. All the teams line up on the stage. Each stepping into the spotlight to answer some silly questions and give a final pose while everyone cheers.

  
Pat’s instinct is to fold in on himself, hide as much as he can. He has no distraction from the mass of people looking at him. Before he could really spiral on that, Brian is grabbing his hand and pulling him close.

  
“We still gotta put on a show, Pat.” He whispered in his ear. “Keep your eyes on me.” That was all Pat needed to hear. Brian, being a good sport cheered for the other teams. Jumping up and down, as was his nature. Pat kept his eyes on Brian and a goofy smile on his face.

Then it was their turn to step into the spotlight. The energetic MC greeting them happily.  
“I gotta say. Y’all were really athletic.” The man said. Then turning to Pat. “How much can you bench?”

  
Before answering, Pat glances at Brian, does his best to communicate his plan then speaks into the microphone held out to him. “The only thing I need to lift is this guy.” He then angles towards Brian and just scoops him up bridal style. A wave of cheers goes through the crowd at that.

  
“Do you get swept off your feet often, Mr. Gill” The MC asks, holding the microphone to Brian this time. Doesn’t that just tug at Pat's heart.

  
“Every damn day.” Brian answers quickly and confidently, speaking into the mic, but gazing at Pat. The MC giggles about that.

  
He turns back to the audience. “Alright everybody time to scream your heads off for Mr. and Mr. Gill.”

  
Pat swings Brian around so his legs are around Pat’s hips again. Pat really loves this position. Pat places his hands on the small of Brian’s back. The younger man throws his weight backwards, leaning so he’s horizontal to the stage, all his weight supported by Pat. The crowd is deafening.

  
There is a vote off between them and two other groups. The MC is doing his best to build up tension before announcing the winner.

  
“Drum roll everybody!” He yells! The audience goes wild. Brian who was hugging Pat, hiding his face in Pat’s neck, drummed a beat on Pat’s ass. “The winners are…THE GILLS”  
Pat is not exactly proud of what happens next. He has the best intentions, but his execution is off. Several things happen at once. He is overcome with the absolute need to kiss Brian. He can’t wait any longer. Damn the consequences, his life has gone on too long without his lips on Brian’s.

  
Brian whips his head out his hiding spot and jumps. Right as Pat is leaning down to try and press their faces together. The result is Pat’s nose makes aggressive contact with Brian’s forehead. Pat has broken his nose before, luckily this is not that. The impact is enough to break some blood vessels. Blood spews from his nose. He jerks his head back, his real concern is to not get the blood on Brian. He’d hate to ruin his make-up. This completely ruins any sexy anticipation. Pat is a disaster of a man.

  
Luckily, the MC stepped in before it could get any more awkward. “It wouldn’t be Rocky Horror without a little gore. Give up for The Gills one more time.” If Pat was paying attention he’d see the standing ovation, but he was too busy trying to stop the bleeding while having prizes pressed into his hands and being shuffled off stage. Backstage they managed to clean Pat up without completely wrecking his face. Brian was apologizing profusely and Pat was doing his best to reassure Brian that everything was okay.

  
Pat wanted to sweep Brian away, but as the winners there were many pictures to take. With the MC, with strangers, who were also dressed as Rocky and Janet or other characters. Their friends were dressed up as well. Simone put together an excellent Magenta costume, Jenna looked great as Columbia. Laura was also Columbia. Clayton was dressed as Brad and took some red faced pictures with Brian. Allegra dressed vaguely Frankenfurter inspired. Karen looked hilarious as Riff-Raff. Jonah was a very low effort, Criminologist. Pat reluctantly socialized and celebrated with all the non-Brians. He compromised by staying glued to Brian’s side. Brian didn’t seem to be complaining.

  
After what felt like eons, Brian excused them to go get changed. They found their way to the glorified closet that served as their dressing room. As soon as the door snicked shut, Pat wanted to pounce, but he needs to think with his brain and his heart, not his dick. He figured this was a conversation best had with clothes on.The dressing room was divided by a curtain so Pat was able to change into his street clothes while maintaining modesty. He removes that fucking cup. He’ll be overjoyed if he never has to touch such a thing again.

  
He takes a few quiet moments to collect himself. When Brian gives the okay, he slides the curtain open. Any time he spends time not looking at Brian is a shame, but the relief when he gets his sights back on him is bliss.

  
“Brian, I-” “Pat, do-” They say at the same time. Pat chuckles and a deep breath.

  
“Go ahead Brian.”

  
“I was just going to ask if you want help taking off your make-up.” Brian’s voice is small. Pat smiles, trying to reassure him. Make him feel as loved as Pat does.

  
“No thanks. I’d like to keep it on. I actually really like it.” Pat answers, taking a step forward, not bearing to have space between them.

  
“Oh, good. So what do you want?” Brian asks, taking a step closer. Pat thinks, maybe he knows what he’s about to say. Pat harnesses all the adrenaline, courage, and sheer gay energy he had grown over the last six weeks and answers.

  
“You.” He says, it comes out like it's the easiest thing he’s ever said. “You know, in a romantic way. Or really every way or anyway. God Brian, even if you tell me that don’t feel the same way, I’ll still want you.” Pat is fully prepared to keep talking, babbling, but Brian, in his infinite wisdom, grabs Pat by the face and _kisses_ him.

  
God, what a kiss. Pat can feel all the time, all the patience, all tender moments they’ve shared. This kiss doesn’t leave room for shame or guilt. This kiss feels like they are finally on the same page, like after all this time, the stars have aligned and they get what they've always wanted. Pat doesn’t believe in soulmates, but he thinks this might be close.

  
They should talk, but it feels like all they’ve ever done is _talk_. Maybe it’s time Pat just shuts off his brain and _do_ something. One kiss turns into many, quickly growing heated. Pat is pushing back until Brian hits the wall. Pat takes everything Brian gives. Their tongues slide together slick and warm. Pat has never experienced a kiss so good. To be fair he’s never kissed someone he was actually _attracted_ to, but he thinks he could have all the experience in the world and Brian would still be something special.  
Brian’s hands are in Pat’s clothes pulling him closer, he moans deep in his throat. God, Pat has been waiting so long to hear Brian make those noises. Pat stutters his hips into Brian, rubbing his, yup his _erection_ against the other man.

  
“Oh my god Pat. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to feel your dick against me. That cup was the worst idea in the world.” Brian says with a laugh. Pat is glad that even with their new _circumstances_ Brian can yank his chain.

  
“That cup was the only thing keeping me from coming in my pants like a teenager.” Pat answered, moving his attention onto Brian’s neck, placing sloppy kisses on the long muscles. “Fuck Brian. Do you know how hot you are?”

  
“Me? What about you Pat? Fuck, that guy was right. When did you get so swoll?” Pat didn’t really get to answer that, Brian was pulling him into more fevered kisses. He’s about to hitch Brian’s legs up when a knock on the door shatters the tension.

  
“Hey guys, You almost done in there? We’re gonna be locking up soon.” A stagehand says on the other side of the door.

  
“Fuck.” Pat sighs.

  
“Yeah, just give us a second. We’ll be right there.” Brian answers for them. Pat gathers his self-restraint and steps away from Brian. He looks as upset about it as Pat feels. He quickly straightens his clothes and grabs his backpack. Willing his boner away, he’s only mildly successful. “Guess we’ll just have to wait a little longer, Pat Gill.”

  
“We’ve got the afterparty with everybody at my place too.” Pat pointed out.

“Ugh. I don’t know if I can do it Pat. You’re too irresistible.”

  
“From where I’m standing, we've been waiting two years, what’s a few more hours?” That seems to take Brian’s breath away as Pat ushers him out of the room. They meet up with their friends in front of their theater. Pat is trying to steel himself for a few more hours of not absolutely _railing_ the man who will likely agree to be his boyfriend.

  
“Alright guys, ready to head back to Pat’s?” Brian asks in what Pat can tell is feigned enthusiasm.

  
Simone speaks through an obviously fake yawn. “You know, I’m actually pretty tired. Maybe we should just head home. Celebrate a different night?” As she spoke she gave Pat a look that let him know that he owed her big time. The others were agreeing like they had rehearsed this before they came out. Bless Simone, really, she’s the best. Pat has great friends.

  
Brian hugged Laura and Jonah goodnight. “I’m going to be very upset if you come home tonight Bri.” His sister says.

  
“Don’t worry, Laura. I’ll keep him busy.” Pat says, because what is shame or subtly? What does it matter if everybody knows he and Brian are gonna get _down and dirty_ tonight? It’s not like they haven’t just watched basically that.

  
They opt to just walk, now that they are exposed to the cool air, they aren’t so much in a rush. They know they have plenty of time and plenty to talk about. Pat is perfectly content to walk through the streets of New York City holding Brian's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will most likely be the last. I swear they're gonna fuck.


	8. Thrill Me Chill Me Fulfill Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH Sorry this took so long. I lost momentum and it took me forever to write the this last chapter. 
> 
> Ejoy!!

They spend the walk discussing the performance blow-by-blow. Praising each other to no end. They share amazement about how into it their friends got. Pat felt so fresh, so bold. He felt emboldened by the city at night.

“I lied.” Pat blurts out, not knowing how else to begin his explanations.

“Are you talking about last weekend, at Simone’s?” Brian asks, because of course he does. Brian is the smartest person Pat knows.

“Yeah. Quinn wasn’t locked out or anything. I just overheard you and Simone in the kitchen, I kinda freaked out. Thinking about it now, I really don’t think I understood everything correctly. I didn’t hear much.” “

What did you hear?” Brians asks, concern knitting his brows together.

“All I heard was that you were in love with someone but you didn’t want to tell me because you knew I had feelings for you.” Pat felt small as he explained his side of the story.

“Oh, god Pat. That’s the worst part you could’ve heard. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I just _assumed_. I got so scared that no matter what things would change. I was sure you were in love with someone else and I’d lose you . A wek ago, I wasn’t ready to face the option that maybe, you weren’t talking about someone else. Maybe you were talking about me.” Pat was expecting his voice to betray him, but it stayed strong. “Were you?”

“Yeah, Pat I was. I’ve been gone-” Brian looks like he’s gearing up to say how he feels, but after this long, Pat owes it to him to come clean first.

“Brian, Let me talk first.” He says as they have a block to go before arriving at Pat’s apartment.

“Go for it, Pat.” With Brian’s approval Pat opens his heart and just fucking _monologues_.

“I have spent 94% of my life thinking I was straight. The only reason I realized that I did in fact like guys, was you. You showed up in my life, with your suits and your hair and your nail polish and it was like suddenly I could see color. Everything finally made sense. All the confusing feelings I had for my male friends as a kid, all the chances I didn’t take in college, it all clicked. For the first time I thought about what _I_ wanted, what _I_ was attracted to.

“Then I freaked the fuck out. I got so scared. I went through a solid year of just hating myself for being gay on top of all the other reasons I’ve always hated myself. I was so ashamed. I couldn’t even talk about it. I would try to bring it up or say the words out loud and I wasn’t able to. I had to practice at home in the dark so many times before I had the guts to tell you.

“By the time I was anywhere close to comfortable with my sexuality, I was just so into you that pursuing any kind of relationship with anyone else seemed pointless. That’s just to say I’m really inexperienced.

“Just because I’m inexperienced doesn’t mean I’m not sure. I’ve had a really long time to think about this. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long actually. I was just so scared. You mean so much to me, that I don’t think I could bear losing you. This whole experience though, it’s just gone to show me that you’re the last thing I should be afraid of. You have been so patient with me, you’ve always respected my boundaries, you’ve supported me in so many ways. I want to be able to do that for you too. I don’t want to hold back anymore.” Pat stops walking right in front of his apartment building. He faces Brian, he wants to do this part right. Anticipation shines bright in Brian’s eyes. The little shit knows exactly what’s coming.

“So, Brian David Gilbert, will you be my boyfriend?”

“First of all, yes. 100% yes, I will totally be your boyfriend. I’m so proud of you Pat. For opening up to me and the other people at the office, for putting yourself out there, for following along with my crazy ideas. You’re so amazing. I feel so lucky I get to be with you. Now it’s my turn to confess all my feelings to you.

“You are literally one of the best people I have ever met. You’re so kind and caring, you do support me. I couldn’t do half the crazy things I’ve signed myself up for if it wasn’t for you. I’ve been really into you for awhile, but it was obvious you were dealing with stuff and I didn’t want to push. I’ve come on too strong with straight guys before. I know how intense I can be, and I didn’t want to fuck anything up.

“Then you came out to me, Pat. I was so happy but it was so hard at the same time. You were obviously still hurting and the last thing I wanted to do was add to your hurt, so I just had to wait. I had to wait and hope you might feel the same way. I don’t regret it though Pat, I don’t regret waiting at all. I always kinda knew that you’d figure it out. Even back in the Gill and Gilbert days, before I even let myself think about it, I felt an energy with you. Like maybe we were inevitable. I wasn’t worried because I think we’re meant to be, Pat.

“Gosh, that’s coming on way too strong. I’m sorry.” Brian said, his voice sounding thick with emotion and vulnerability. Pat can’t have Brian feeling sorry for anything he just said, so he kisses him brief and hard.

“Don’t be sorry, Brian. Please, I’m so happy. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Pat’s hands were framing Brian’s face, Brian's hands on Pat’s waist. It felt so good to hold and be held. Pat’s going in for another kiss when Brian uses that wonderful brain of his, to make a suggestion.

“Perhaps we should go inside Patrick?”

“Oh! Yeah, that’s a great idea. I just wanted to make sure I knew where we stood before we were, you know, not standing.” Pat says, pulling out his keys. A different Pat, Pat even a week ago would have struggled being so presumptions. This Pat though, was pretty confident he was getting laid tonight.

“For sure. You gotta DTR before you’re DTF, my dude.” Pat laughs, then doubling down on the bit.

“Yes! Achievement unlocked.” Pat said doing a stupid fucking fist bump in the air. It got the desired effect of eliciting a full bellied Brian laugh.

“Goodness, what am I going to do with you, Pat Gill?”

“Unless I’ve interpreted something very wrong, you’re going to fuck me.” Pat says as he’s pushing open his apartment door. He waltzes into his apartment as he can practically hear Brian’s jaw hitting the floor. He sets his stuff down as casual as can be. He turns and faces Brian, who is still standing in the damn hallway. “Well?” He asks, quirking his eyebrow and opening his arms.

Brian launches himself into Pat. Pat catches him easily, twirling with the momentum of it. He walks Brian backwards, catching the door, pushing it closed with the weight of their bodies. Brian easily slides his legs around Pat, exactly is if they’ve practiced this exact motion at least a hundred times. “Are we gonna fuck against the wall?” Brian asks, beaming.

“It’d be wrong if we didn’t at least try.” Pat is sure his face is just as dopily happy as Brian’s. They kiss around their smiles.

Brian never stops moving his hands or his tongue. Pat loses track of exactly where he is, all he feels is the hot press of Brian’s body. He needs more. He pulls and preses at Brian’s shirt, hoping the other man will get involved so something will actually be accomplished. Brian, bless his soul, gets the idea and hurriedly undoes his own buttons before moving on to pulling Pat’s shirt over his head. Pat is impressed by the coordination of it all.

“God Pat. I was nearly unbearable to see you and touch you but not get to have you the way I wanted. I’ve waited so long to get my mouth on you and now I never want to stop.” Brian was speaking between sloppy kisses planted along Pat’s neck.

“Yeah. You gonna mark me up? Make sure everybody knows I’m yours?” Pat asked goading Brian on.

“Oh my god can I?”

“Just keep it under the collar baby.” With Pat’s approval Brian latches his mouth onto the curve of his shoulder and sucks. Pat can’t comprehend how good Brian feels against him. How good it feels to touch Brian exactly the way he wants. To have Brian touching him back, so obviously wanting. Then, Pat wonders, then shifts, and yup, Brian is hard. He must catch on cause he rolls his hips, pushing his _erection_ into Pat’s soft stomach. They both let out deep moans. There’s no room between them for shame or guilt. Pat’s sexuality crisis is long forgotten now. Brian’s dick is all up against him and he wants more. He redistributes Brian’s weight, pushing him against the door to support him. He manages to get one hand free to palm against Brian’s dick. What he lacks in technique, he makes up in enthusiasm. He keeps his mouth busy against Brian as he rubs and squeezes Brian, eliciting huffs and moans. Brian fumbles with the button and zipper of his pants, having to bat Pat’s hand out of the way. Brian undoes his then moves on to Pat’s. He gets his hand around Pat’s member at the same time that Pat feels the lace of the panties stretching across Brian’s hard cock. The dual sensations cause Pat to stutter, his knees buckle just a little. Brian squeaks as he slips downward, clutching at Pat with more purpose.

“Fuck, you’re still wearing the panties. I wasn’t prepared for that.” Pat had spent so long pointedly not thinking about how absolutely exquisite Brian looked in the white lace. While speaking he kept his hand cupped on Brian’s dick, his thumb rubbing gentle circles.

“Do you like them?” Brian asks in a shy voice that is obviously put on.

“You’re so beautiful Bri. They look so good on you.” Pat was trying to reposition them after slipping with not much success.

“As much fun as this is, I think a bed would only improve our situation.” Brian suggested breathlessly. Pat let’s Brian down, both his feet on the ground again.

“Whatever you say boss.” Pat says letting Brian lead the way to the bedroom.

“Ooh that’s what I like to hear, Pat Gill.” Brain says tossing a wink over his shoulder. He slips his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders and spins it around dramatically. He lets himself into Pat’s room with ease. They both toe off their shoes, Brian steps out of his pants and throws himself prettily onto the bed. Pat has to take a few breaths and just look at Brian. He was splayed out in nothing but panties in Pat’s bed. His legs were spread, one knee bent, one arm tucked behind his head. Pat was struck by the rightness of it all. Brian looked so comfortable and at ease, like he was right where he belonged. Pat was unsure exactly where he wanted to go from here. He knew generally that he was totally down with getting each other off, the specifics of that he’s still fuzzy on. He stands at the edge of the bed fidgeting lightly. Brain must sense Pats' need for direction. Pat will someday get used to the other man's ability to read him like a book.

“What’re you thinking Pat?” Brian asks, sitting up on his knees to be eye level with him.

“I don’t think I want to jump straight into the world of anal sex tonight, if that’s alright?”

“Of course, that’s totally fine. There’s plenty of other ways to have fun. Do you have an idea of what you do want to do?” He’s looking at Pat with such pure adoration that Pat’s last bit of inhibition fades.

“I’d really like it if you sucked me off.”

“You’re in luck Pat, I would love to suck your dick.” Brian scoots closer to him, his hands gravitating towards the button of Pat’s pants. Pat quickly steps out of his pants and joins Brian on the bed, pushing the smaller man back so he could brace himself over him. Their kisses were sloppy, Brian arching up to press as much of himself against Pat as possible. They grow even more heated, Brian letting out high whines every time Pats rolls his hips. He spreads his legs to give Pat even more access to rut against him. It feels so good with so little separating them. Pat marvels that it’s likely to get even better than this.

Brian wiggles and pushes at Pat’s shoulder until he flips them over, Brain now on top. He presses sloppy and bruising kisses along Pat’s neck and chest, moving down to lap at his belly and his hips. Pat was breathing heavy in anticipation. Brian looks to Pat for confirmation before sliding off his boxers, Pat lifting his hips to help things along. Brian’s eyes shine with adoration as Pat’s cock settles againsts his stomach, red and leaking precum. Pat felt exhilaration under Brian's hungry gaze.

After a moment of heady eye contact, Brian grips the base of Pat’s cock and licks a stripe up to the head. Brian takes his time tasting, licking, sucking at Pat, eliciting louder and louder moans from Pat. “Jesus Christ Brian. You’re so good at this, I never want you to stop.” Pat couldn’t decide where to keep his hands, he was flitting between Brian’s hair, his own hair, and fisting the sheets.

“You’re so good for me Pat. You sound so good. I love hearing you moan my name.” After pausing to speak Brian resumed his efforts with even more vigor, drawing a moan loud enough to be a shout. Brian had half a mind to tease, but he was much too intent on chasing the taste of Pat. Pat is unsurprised by how overwhelmingly good Brian is at this. He must approach it with the same innate talent and drive for perfection that he does everything else. Brian gives this blow job his all. His mouth is wet and hot as he gives Pat access to his throat. The visual was adding to the pleasure, Brian's full lips stretched around him, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Pat is unsure how long he lasts, but it feels like he’s existed in this moment with Brian forever. He squeezes his eyes shut as Brian swallows around him, he moans deep and heavy as he cums into Brian’s supple, waiting mouth. Brian sucks and licks the last drops of cum before crawling up to wrap himself around Pat.

“I want to get you off.” Pat says as soon as he can think.

“You sure? You don’t have to. We could call it a night.” Brian says easily, petting Pat’s hair gently.

“I’ve waited this long to see you come, please don’t make me wait any longer.” Pat replies, angling towards Brian to catch his lips in a kiss. Pat kisses Brian as his hand finds his way under the panties to grip Brian's cock. Brian supplies some lube that Pat applied liberally. He tries not to think that this is his first time touching a dick that wasn’t attached to him.

He tries to focus on what would feel good for him. The slick glide of his hands makes it easy to squeeze and twist just right. Brian pants heavily, urging Pat on with little notes of praise. Pat loves hearing Brian say how good he is, inflating his eager ego. Pat takes his time, experiments with different techniques, asking Brian what feels good. Pat knows he’s doing well with quick firm tugs, when Brian loses his ability to speak in exchange for heady moans and his limbs fidgeting, pushing out against Pat. Brian gives a gasp of Pat’s name and pulls him into a kiss as he comes. The mess of it covers his stomach and Pats hand. He’s tempted to lick a taste of it, so he does, making Brian squeal.

“That’s too hot Pat. You can’t just do sexy shit like that right after making me come.” Brian says with a laugh.

“What can I say, you taste good.” Pat answers. He’s feeling rather energized besides the late hour and events of the day. Brian doesn’t reply, just pulls him into a kiss.

They lie awake for a little longer, talking and laughing between slow kisses. Pat is perfectly content to spend his time soaking in as much of Brian as he can. It’s such a relief to have his arms around the other man after wishing for just that for so long.

“Oh! What did we win? The whole thing was a competition, what was the prize?” Pat asks with a start just as Brian was going to slide into sleep.

“It was a whole basket of gift cards and stuff. We even got a voucher for six weeks of pole dancing classes. You’ll do that with me won’t you Pat?”

And well, Pat was not one to say no to Brian.


End file.
